Seek
by MyImmortal329
Summary: After the battle at the Hilltop, Daryl seeks Carol out to bridge the distance between them.


Disclaimer: I own nothing from The Walking Dead. All characters belong to the creators of the television show and/or graphic novels.

Seek

The Hilltop wasn't a big place, but he'd been looking for her all day. She seemed to disappear every time he turned around. It was how things were these days. After the events of the last few days, he certainly couldn't blame her for wanting to avoid everyone, but it hurt more than he cared to think about to know she was trying to avoid him, too.

He finally found her out in the garden with her hands in the soil. He stood watching her for the longest time, watching the way she gently tended to the plants. They'd lucked out that they hadn't lost any of their crops in the battle. Daryl had a feeling they were going to need that food desperately if the war continued on for much longer.

He hadn't meant to make a sound, but she'd heard him anyway. He'd taught her to track, so he only had himself to blame for her honed senses. She didn't turn his way, but he watched her posture change. She pulled her hands from the dirt and dipped them in a bucket of water, massaging her fingers until the grime disappeared.

He stepped up to her, kneeling down in the grass beside her. He handed her a towel, and she gave him a little smile, barely looking at him.

"You ok?"

"You already asked me that," she offered. "I'm fine." Her words were flat, but he caught the catch in her voice at the end. He watched her flinch at her own words, and he didn't move. "I'm ok. How's Tara?"

"No fever. She's healin' fine."

"Good. That's good."

"How's the boy?"

"He won't say much. He just stays to himself. Ezekiel's keeping an eye on him." Daryl eyed her.

"Thought maybe you'd be there, too. Helpin' with Henry, I mean."

"Why?" Carol asked, wiping her hands on her knees and standing up. He followed. Carol turned, her posture a little stiff, and she looked somewhere behind Daryl, avoiding his gaze.

"Seemed like you was worried about him."

"He's a kid. Kids get killed out there. Of course I was worried. But he's safe now, and that's the end of it."

"Seems like you guys are close. You and Henry and Ezekiel."

"What are you asking me?"

"I ain't askin' nothin'," Daryl muttered, feeling the back of his neck grow hot. After everything they'd been through, he still had trouble expressing his feelings. And she had made herself scarce; as if she was afraid to be alone with him after that day he'd shown up on her doorstep.

"Daryl?" He rubbed the back of his neck before dropping his hand to rest at his side. "You can talk to me."

"Can I? Sure feels like I can't these days." His words came out a little harsh, and Carol narrowed her eyes at him. "Seems like we ain't never got the time." His gaze finally met hers, and she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Her gaze darted around to see various survivors glancing their way as they went about their everyday work. She suddenly felt exposed, so she couldn't imagine what Daryl was feeling. Finally, she nodded toward the house.

"Come on." He followed her quietly into the house and up the stairs. A few people were scattered up and down the stairs scrubbing bloodstains off of the banister and walls. Deep, brown stains littered the landing upstairs where just days ago many of their people had been killed and turned.

Carol pushed open the door to her room, and Daryl followed her in. Once inside, Daryl turned to shut the door, pausing with his back to her and his hand on the knob.

"I miss ya." His words were quiet, and Carol's heart almost stopped.

"I miss you, too," she whispered. Daryl turned then, pushing his hair from his eyes. He could see the tears glittering in hers. "We haven't talked about it." She took a shaking breath. "There _is_ something to talk about, right?"

"How can ya ask me that?" he asked, taking a few steps in her direction. "'Course there is."

"You left that night, and…." Her voice was just above a whisper and shaking.

"You didn't ask me to stay. Didn't know what you wanted. Thought you wanted to be alone."

"I think I did," she choked out. "I was confused. When you showed up at my door, it was the happiest I'd been in a long time." Her shoulders trembled. "For once, we had time to…to talk. To be us again. To... And I spent so much time pretending to be someone else that I'd forgotten what that was like." She wiped a tear away.

"Kinda thought maybe you liked pretendin' to be someone else."

"It almost killed me." She shook her head. Daryl took a few more steps toward her. Then her hands reached out, moving up his arms and over his shoulders. Her touch was still new in some ways. More intimate now than ever before. His heart thundered in his chest. "And then there you were, and I couldn't pretend. That night meant a lot. It was…it was everything." She sniffled.

"Meant a lot to me, too. It was somethin' I wanted. Just wasn't sure you wanted it. Wasn't sure how to tell ya. Surprised the hell outta myself that night." Carol chuckled at that, and Daryl cleared his throat. "Didn't know what to say after. Wanted to stay. But I didn't know if ya wanted that."

"I did," she offered. "But I know you. You had to fight." She shook her head. "So did I. I was just too stubborn to admit it to myself. If I knew then what I knew now…"

"M'sorry I lied to ya. 'Bout Glenn and Abraham. Hell, after everything ya told me that night 'bout the girls, 'bout what happened in that basement with Morgan and that Wolf, I wanted to keep ya from what hurt I could."

"I know." She reached up and gently stroked his cheek.

"Guess part of me thought if I stayed, I'd tell ya, and I didn't wanna hurt ya. But then after ya came back, after the fight at Alexandria, ya kept yer space. Thought maybe you regretted what happened…thought you were mad at me. Hell, it ain't what I came lookin' for. I didn't aim for it to happen that way. I hope ya don't think I lied 'cause I wanted somethin' to happen. Just didn't wanna see ya hurt anymore."

"No," she sniffled. "I know you. That's not you. If anything, I loved you more. Because I do, you know? I love you." Daryl looked up then, and he watched her eyes glitter with tears. "I wish we could just go back to that night. I'd tell you."

"You showed me," he offered. "Twice if I recall."

"Shut up," she chuckled, as Daryl leaned in to press his lips against hers. She sighed against his kiss, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When he pulled back, she sniffled.

"For the record, I love you, too. Have for a long time. Hell, since before the farm." He swallowed hard.

"Me too," she offered with a little smile.

"Think maybe a certain King might feel the same."

"How could he?" Carol asked. "He hardly knows me. It isn't like that." Daryl kissed her again, and his hand moved down to rest against her lower back. "And Tobin…it wasn't…he was nice." She stumbled over her words. "I didn't love him, Daryl. I couldn't."

"Ya don't have to explain it to me. What happened with us happened after that."

"No." She shook her head. "I went to Tobin, because I couldn't hurt you like that. I was sorting something out. I didn't want you to be the one I used to try and sort myself out. I'm not proud of it. It happened. He was nice, and he liked me, and for a little while, he made me feel like I could be something I wasn't. But everything changed, and I couldn't be there. I couldn't." She sniffled. "And I left. I left, because the Saviors were just gonna keep coming, and I couldn't watch you die. It was you. It was always you."

"Hey." He brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss there. "I know."

"You don't." She shook her head. "I'm not the same person I was. Not back at the quarry. Or the prison. Or even Alexandria."

"I know. She got burned away," Daryl murmured. "It's ok. I ain't who I was neither." Carol sniffled and gave him a little half-smile, remembering the conversation they'd had in Atlanta.

"I'm not sure who I am anymore. I'm not sure I'll ever be sure. The only thing I'm sure about is this." She kissed him softly, and he gently cradled the back of her head with his hand. When she pulled back, she tucked her fingers into the belt loops on his pants. "And this." She tugged him closer, and she pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat. Her hands slid up to work the buttons on his shirt.

"You don't have to…"

"I want to," she whispered. "I miss you. That night was…I want to feel that again."

"Carol." He took her hands in hands. "M'sorry it took so long to find you."

"A lot happened," she murmured. "You don't have to explain. With Glenn and Abraham…"

"They took me. I ain't gonna talk 'bout that yet. Ain't ready."

"Daryl, I…"

"It's ok," he offered. "It's over and I'm alive. You're alive, and you're safe."

"I'm not sure we're ever gonna be safe." She swallowed hard. "I know I can do this alone. I've managed. I just…I don't want to anymore. I want this."

"You sure?" he asked.

"If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't be here now." Daryl pulled her into a kiss then, slowly pulling her against him, walking her back toward her bed. When they fell back against it, Carol chuckled and buried her head against his chest. But when she looked back up into his eyes, she sighed softly. "You know me better than anybody. I guess I kept my distance, because I was afraid of how much I love you. And after that night, I wanted more, and I was afraid to want that. In this world, we can't look forward to what happens next."

"Not yet," Daryl offered. "But it don't mean it'll always be that way." He kissed her again, and she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

"When did you become such an optimist?" she asked.

"Guess it don't feel like the end anymore. Things are bad, but we still got somethin' worth fightin' for, don't we?" Carol smiled then, as Daryl crawled over her, resting his hips against hers, placing soft kisses against her neck with the promise that they had this day and many more to follow.

"Yeah," she smiled, closing her eyes as his hands began to wander. "We certainly do."


End file.
